'U' is for you and me. 'N' is for anywhere and anytime at all. Down here in the deep blue sea.
Okay, don't act like you didn't break into Spongebob mode and sang along with that.
Webster Dictionary defines 'friend' as "a person attached to another by feelings of personal affection or personal regards". Urban Dictionary defines the term as "people who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen in public with you. People who make you laugh until you pee your pants. People who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. When you don't have enough money for ice-cream, they chip in. Knows all your internet passwords. Would never make you cry just to be mean". My personal definition of 'friend' is: You know it when you see it.
I have 1,060 Facebook friends. Of those friends, I probably call about 20-40 of them my best friends. (pause; I'm a girl. I call everyone my best friend. un-pause). Of those 20-40 individuals whom I call my 'best friend', 5 of them are my long-term best/true friends.
Now don't get me wrong, I love all my friends. Heck, I adore all my friends. If you were to come walking through my front door- I would do the typical 'OHHMYGOSSHHH' girl shriek, welcome you with open arms, and embrace you in the biggest bear-hug. But what makes those 5 individuals stand out from the 1,060 friends I have on Facebook is that they carry out traits of loyalty, kick-butt attitude, and a charisma that is significant to our friendship.
Aside from my definition of 'friend' being you know it when you it. These are other characteristics that I, myself, find important in a long-term best/true friend.
When the tough is coming, don't go running: I cannot express how important I find this quality. I have always believed that if you are going to be someone's friend, either stick with them through the rough or leave them during the rough BUT don't bother coming back during the good. You don't get to choose when it's convenient to be someone's friend. Because as cliche as it is; if you can't deal/handle them at their worst, then you definitely don't deserve them at their best. Don't be a convenient friend.
Love me when I'm hard to love: This trait is for those moments when you are a huge pain-in-the butt, but your friend still loves you anyways. Example A: One afternoon, I came back from class and walked through the front door with tears streaming down my face. (pause; I had just pulled an all-nighter and was running on 5 hours of sleep for 48 hours. So sympathize with me. unpause). My roommate Kaela, being the wonderful girl she is, hugs me and walks me to my room and reminded me that my delirious self needed to pull my life together since I had a flight to catch. Kaela sat in my room and dealt with me and showed me that she will continue loving me even when I'm a delirious train-wreck.
To put the final touch to that story; I laid in bed crying for about twenty minutes and ended up missing my flight. Though I might have had to catch a later flight that day, I had a good friend to help me through my delirious meltdown. Love you Kae!
No judgement: Ahh, this trait is a fun one. How many times have we, individually said "Not judging" or "I'm judging you". Those two phrases have become a part of everyday language for society. However, that's not necessary the point I'm aiming at. Example B: Just yesterday my friend Colton was sitting by my hospital bed (no need to worry; an inflame ilium, and a ton of morphine later- I'm back home recovering) and we were having a typical Colton-Catherine conversation. That conversation led to how girls are confusing. After asking him what makes girls sooooo confusing, he looks at me and says "Like how I don't understand a lot of the choices you make. Mainly on guys".
Okay, so maybe I don't have a stellar history on the guys that I were attracted to. Or a stellar history on the choices I've made (i.e. nose piercing). But the point is, whether it's the guys I chose to be with or the dumb spontaneous decisions I chose to make- true friends don't judge you by the quantity of dumb decisions and they definitely don't hold them against you; they love you regardless.
Don't let me be the boss, push me off my high-horse: My dear friends Alicia, Rachel V., and SC, gets to take this one. I don't know how many times I have vented to these three girls about anything and everything. And the thing is, instead of immediately taking my side and babying me- they ALWAYS see the bigger picture. Alicia constantly reminds me to stick up for myself and to stand my ground, while Rachel and SC both give me a counter-perspective and remind me to look at the situation from another point of view. These three girls keep me grounded, and that's what I absolutely love about them. I love that they are not afraid to tell me I'm being over-dramatic or to kick my butt when I'm out of line.
If you have a friend, or a few, who carry out these traits- keep them close by your side. People like those are hard to find and they don't come around often. It takes a team of 5 to keep me sane, because truth be told- you could say I'm a handful ;)... Get it? 5 fingers = a handful, so 5 friends makes me a handful....? Okay, that was a lame.
Until next time,
- C